YES

" Yes i wont be able to come as i had been last month.."yes" "yes" dont worry if not for Diwali for Holi i surely will be at home"..I nodded at phone and convinced my family.

After hanging on the phone i realized "yes its less than one year..how many things have changed in our life"..Since the day i said "yes" for the opportunity many things changed and i am saying "yes"more oftenly than "no"..

That "yes" came when i was dying for some change in my professional life..from that suffocation of thoughts that say experience is counted by number of years not by actual challenges that u faced in your life..
But thanks to one of my senior who says in one line "Challenges come when u say "yes".

This "yes" really changes life in many ways..Ofcourse there is other side of coin also that after this "yes" you are expected not to say "No" never.

But as for  everything there is a time i want to live up this "yes" and pray to God on this Diwali next year when i will be writing here..This "yes" changes my life in more postitive way so that costs incurred are less than benefits...
 

My Doll !!

I was waiting in parking as one of my senior was still not finished with dressing in hospital ..

Saw the calendar oh..28^th of August.very soon its gonna be birthday of my little sis .

How to make her feel special. Many ideas developed, took shape, destroyed and reshaped in my mind.

I was just thinking about her all the time. Honestly speaking she is the most valuable gift of my life not becoz the reason she is my sis but for the reason that she is my best friend also even being younger than me.

Whenever I go back to my childhood I find her the part of my memories that we created together.

She is the one with whom I passed my childhood in most cherished manner.

I quite remember my mamma used to search both of us in those summers where we were found playing dolls in stairs or roof making a tent with her saari. We used to go together for buying all grocery items of home. She was tiny creature trying to help me to hold one handle of beg.

We were most compatible buddies of this world but very different .I was shy and hesitant meeting new people but she was different. She was a parrot or you can say a cuckoo of our family doing chatter patter all the time, boxing with neighbour boys, dancing & singing in front of most of the guests whenever asked.

Our neighbour used to give complement on her voice and looks..Obviously she is one of the cutest girl in our family with dark bengali  eyes. If someday she never talked ppl used to say “where is Gudda??? Is she not fine”??? J J J

She was the sardar of her gang in which most of the followers were boys. She loved jumping into abandoned places , walking on narrow walls, playing kanchas (marbles),ringing bells of neighbours with her mischievous gang.

Our most of Childhood gone in a small town near Ambala where small fairs were focus of small kids as there were only two in a year. As the family used to schedule visit in disciplined manner at evening many a times we found her with her gang there in afternoon.

Oh God!! I remember them all “CHOTE SHAITAN” .Vicky, Surender, Vipin, Sonu, Neha, Shayari..

She was having friends from our colony, nearest colony, back of the colony, schools and tuitions.

BUT JITNI JAGAH UTNI COMPLAIN BHI TO AATI THI.. J J J.At her second standard principal complained “Preeti pulled the hair of Deepa and knocked her head on desk”

Her reply “it was Deepa who started first and teased me and hold my hand tightly with 2^nd Deepa”

(Actually there were two Deepas in her class..JINSE GUDDA KI MOST OF THE TIME NHI BANTI THI)

Then she blossomed like a smiling flower gradually.. day by day..her height gone up in scale from inches to mtrs. We both separated as I wanted to study in hostel and then work in another study.

We moved from one place to another we lost old friends and found new one  but I was having my permanent friend with me.Even now when I have crossed my 24 summers/winters/autumn/springs and we are apart 5000 miles away separated by  Indian ocean I don’t have anybody like her. When we start talking..we talk… and talk… and talk..and be sure she is one of the most balanced advisor who passes her suggestion based on most realistic/practical facts. We differ as I m more on fascinating, imaginary ..sometimes unrealistic positive side.

My doll now growing up and with fighting ups and downs  that she faced in her life like nobody of her age can bear ..I know she is special child with keen observation and insight rare found in any individual  of her age. Still she is my “PLAIN PARATHAN” with no icing to  show off.

She wont do anything just to show somebody she do good things becoz she is simply good.

Sometimes I think my little baby how much changed now to whom we thought youngest member of the family is actually very responsible and sensitive. Managing relationship without ego and accepting mistakes in most non-polished manner..My God !! My Child is grown up…

As I am more on superficial side I was talking about an individual to whom I used to compare and wanted to win over ..She told me only one thing “LIFE MEIN KISI KI LINE CHOTI KARKE APNI LINE BADI KARNA SAHI APPROACH NHI HAI..APNI LINE BADI KARO DOOSRON KI LINE APNE APP CHOTI HO JAYEGI”..Simple mathematics and my life time learning and since then I never had to compare myself with anybody.

OH MY BACCHA..MY LOVE..I STILL FOLLOW AND WILL ALWAYS FOLLOW…

I think before she sleep I want her to make her understand how special she is for me..Afterall today is her birthday..Happy birthday Gudda !!

Love u papa..

 Just finished the phone call with my family ..:) :) yeah as usual Chil-Po of family.. news of relatives,neighbours,friends..who is doing what and where..easily available news even after sitting more than 5K miles from family..My great family...:) :)
Well Mamma was telling me how much papa miss me..I miss u too papa :( :(
Its strange world you take hard decisions yourself from your mind still your heart refuse to bend.
Well i know my papa is the best father in this world that anybody can find ever.In first look he is someone you assume the man with tough look and looking for discipline all around him..can easily control everybody and anybody.

But ask me i will tell u how he is..:P :P

Since childhood we are very close..he brought me up in a manner as boys grow and develop their mind.Of course i always confronted the fact on his saying that i m his son..I always told him.."i m like this coz i am ur daughter"

He is the one who can speak continuously one hour about different political and social issues all around the world.(EAST OR WEST MY FATHER IS THE BEST).I remember his open forum to discuss about "Recession in India".."Govt policy".."USA strategy"..USSR disintegration..Anna Hazare..Civil wars in Africa..long list to do..And best part is he dont want u to come his side he always tells us " no no..be on opposite side otherwise no fun in discussion"

He created in our family.."a true democracy" after a certain period when he felt its time to do ..we  dont feel that in any small or big decision our suggestion is not important.

Well there is one disadvantage also coz my younger sister has become dictator and taken over the TV remote and we all request her for our favorite programme.:) :)

Our family also saw ups and downs of life..being from everything to nothing..and then being nothing to something..But being a religious person optimism naturally comes to him and same he taught us..

Once somebody was just telling me "When u think u r growing and taking decision in your family u can take decision easily in ur professional life also" Very true.Thanks to my papa .

My mamma says i m like my father.I feel happy..LIKE FATHER LIKE DAUGHTER :) :)

Well my father has one complain with me...Whenever he is at home he cant find his footwear becoz generally i prefer them to wear.he he he.Well like my father i also have big feet.

Whenever he is at home and will crack jokes to make the environment light..

But when he is angry with something its hard to control really..nobody has dare to say anything..I always had little discomfort with this fact but now i realize its not easy to be a husband.. a father..and specially father of four daughters giving them such a high quality upbringing being in middle class.

I cant forget his kindness when he started looking a good match for my elder sister he asked her permission before moving forward.
Like every daughter i also has a wish to find someone in my life like my father. Optimistic, Caring, progressive thinking and true human being.

He did sacrifices for us we know..Being a shopholic i never count money to my interests but i know my father he always stay away to buy anything for him.And if u gift him something he will tell at least 7-8 ppl "Given by my daughters" ( i am feeling nostalgic)

Ego never touches him.When i was working in New Delhi and he used to visit on Sunday and at 6:00 am will come to me and say "Betaaa tea for u" he he he " i have chopped the vegetables ..now will be easy for u"
He is cool father..will appreciate when her daughters look good and will suggest u "Beta what is that JO AAJ KAL KE BACCHE KNEES TAK JEANS PAHANTE HAI..IT LOOKS SMART". he he he he understand he wants to say "Capri"

When in any close one's marriage we dance he will come to join us and obviously my sisters rock the DG.Me also like junior artist..

Even being the best in the world he is very cute also when he try to use new generation mobile,laptops..very complicated for him to search a name in address book and use the internet..He is my sweetheart !!

Whenever he sits with mamma recalls all our childhood memories,our habits,our likings everything.Many a times i listen his worries about our future.i know he is tensed for uncertainty and there are still some battles to win...But i just wann say " I Love u..We love u..We will do"

Caution wet Floor !!

Hmmm well like every normal morning ..i just woke up..prepared myself for office..did a namesake breakfast..and in hurry called driver at least 3 times when the clock showed me 8:30 am..Where he stuck up???..will be late today for sure then seniors will say "not right attitude" (well privilege of seniors ;) would like to keep silence when u sit late in office in evening to finish your work). finally our driver made a horn 2 times and hastily i got into car and in approx 30 minutes entered the office premises.I was rushing to lift but i noticed that cleaning lady had put the mark "Caution Wet floor".. Then i thought its better now i move with caution..:) :)

Just pressed the lift button as 8th floor..in this 40 seconds i was just thinking.if i had not noticed i would have slipped.we people rush around whole day without proper caution.Who would have cared for me if i hurt myself.

Lift reached at 4th floor and somebody joined us in the lift and again it stopped at 6th floor some ppl left us and some other joined us.All professionals working in good companies like a bunch of grapes sticking together to reach their destinations.

I was just looking myself in the mirror of life.My mind was somewhere thinking about same sign that lady put in the ground floor.

Surely your career.. your life nothing is certain it changes over time and u also as a person change.
Still looking at mirror mind asked the heart,"are u the same person like 3 years back???

Then heart started meditating when we start our life/our career we all are very innocent..nothing seems to be impossible with energy and enthusiasm.Child like curiosity..Problems come and we say its just to teach me..I will achieve..becoz we want to be something ..a creative mind, a person who is most talked about and is appreciated by folk.I dont know why we all enter into organization with magic wand to change everything. we have suggestion/our opinion for everything.. almost for everything..

Then time runs and we found ourselves in different environment.we breath in the air hardly known to us.We start forgetting what used to think..Now we want to think for what we are paid and not more than this.

Now starts the replacement..enthusiasm with frustration..Child like curiosity with a blocked mind  obeying others idea..magic wand with excuses...suggestion/opinion with complains and requests..

We all change ...and at the end when we meet ourselves we are embarrassed and again gives excuses that we were busy that's why we missed anniversary of our parents..we missed to chat with our old friend..we missed to give time to our favorite pastime .We loose small happiness.

We work whole day but hardly do what we want to do for ourselves.

Its true that change is inevitable and reality of life and needed also but important is in this slippery floor where we are moving should take caution that we dont forget what we want..

Average mind

Great...average and poor..I dont know what should be exactly classification of mind based on the quantum of substance it keeps inside it.Well even i dont know whether this classification is based on some authentic data or view of masses.But i have heard these categories while talking to ppl like for a boss her junior is always average minded person and he himself with great brain .. :P :P :)

Well what is great mind and average mind i dont know the difference honestly speaking.For me its more of a perception.As if a science student talk to a student of fine arts and tell him that he is average minded as he is not aware of scientific facts and he cant contribute in technical details.
But when u turn the table story will be different.Is'nt it??

Well at least 80% of this world population falls into this ignored category of "Average mind"
And these are the ppl who run the world..they implement ideas created by "great mind" and we experience the new discovery..new technology..

Your boss is always a great mind and you are always a average mind becoz u do what he asks u to do..:) :)
In actual there is no difference between "great mind" and so called "average mind" becoz its matter of just one step ahead.If some part of body is used so much it will elongate same as mind.

Great mind is not great mind untill it can influence millions of these average minded ppl and make them feel they are great ...

Just a day.

Completly under pressure of work.".overburdened" few ppl's view.But i say "great" "growth" and opportunity"Well yeah now days its my story.I dont find time for me.Even my blog and all social activites waiting in a que to be updated.Well its not unpleasant for me its good also..as many of us wants the same opportunity.Well anyhow whenever i find time i enjoy fully..awesome..like an insane..Like last week i had been with a group of 40 people all above 50 years and i was the only one in 20's .he he he..yeah it was..And i dont have any complain of this situation as i said yes i went with my consent..but yes it was a different experience all together.When we are young we go for some sea side we run arround..we chat about fashion/acitivies and fun..we jump on different activities.for them its bit different in their own way of walking like u r with kids.They take small steps..one by one..they sit on the coast on a mat and will chat about families and homely issues.And all the time miss their kids who are settled abroad and left them alone at home.
well i dont have any complain for their kids as well becoz its life to grow and explor urself.you cant stay at home sometimes whether u want or you dont want.In my case i m happy that my little sister is at home to take care of my parents and this distance of 5113KM  has not affected the way we used to live.We talk daily at least for 45 minutes ..thanks to new technologies of communication.

Well finding me in their group they were quite happy each one of them offering chocolates,buiscuits and candies.Were trying to make me comfortable with their love.On sea side i thought to take rest.They took my head in their leap and touched my hair with so much of affection i was feeling very relaxed.

It was not fun but relaxing moments i cant say i did activities and i enjoyed.but this gave me time to think more seriously about my parents/life and relations.

We rush arround success as in today's world its a criterion to sustain although society will call u a "failed Person" we all get scared of this.But success in itself is relative does not matter how much we achieve still we will never be successful in absolute terms..
I dont want to discuss  here about relative and absolute success its useless untill u reach up to some level.It would give an impression "grapes are not good".

Well i know one thing we all need love at whatever age we are.In this search of love we dont care to whom we find we just love..

Oh wow i got a SMS from one aunty  of same group calling me "baby take care"..

After smiling i answered :) :) :) it was nice day thanks..

See you soon

Even today had been very busy..In the 8 story building perhaps i was the only one working.. Well sometime it gives me feeling of proud also that generally people talk a lot about hard work and its fruit from God.I want to satisfy myself that yes this is which will take me where i want to be..

When i finished from office i was waiting in Ebene bus stop and with very frequent traffic and sharp sun the blending of air blocked my calculative mind full of numbers, deals and reminders.. sense of freedom i felt.I asked myself am i preparing myself to be successful or to be a slave.

I always find myself guilty of ignoring something or not giving proper time that it wants to convey. There is something missing..What perhaps i know.

I am missing myself..the one to whom i don’t know when i met last time. Now i am more like a puppet in hands of world. I work on instructions. I work on timelines. In this world of calculation sometimes i catch. Sometimes i loose.

But this is not where i live somewhere i loose everyday.

I don’t remember when i talked to myself last time or thought what i want to..or When i closed my eyes for 5 minutes and smiled.

The best time for me to meet myself is the local bus which takes me to office. The taxi when i am alone with an unknown driver who don’t speak English or Hindi properly and hesitate to talk and i find time to talk to myself. When i m in lift for less than one minute.

And when lift opens the door and i get into office i say myself Goodbye !! Hope to see you soon !!